Rescue (Ransom Book 5) Page 7

  “We were going to have a band meeting,” Reed begins, but Lennon cuts him off.

  “Dad said we were supposed to get some rest on the flight. If you guys decide to have a meeting, I guess Levi will come get me, won’t he?”

  Reed is staring hard at his brother now. “Okay, Len. I just… okay.”

  “See you around, Reed.”

  “Um, it was nice talking to you,” I say.

  Reed manages a tight smile in my direction before following his girlfriend up the aisle.

  “Well,” I say after a moment. “That was kind of weird.”

  Lennon releases a huge breath, his eyes on his feet. He takes another breath, then another, doing that deliberate, calming thing he was doing before. After a few seconds, he looks up at me. “I’m sorry. He was kind of a jerk.”

  “No, he was fine—”

  But Lennon waves me off. “He’s just…” He groans, running his hands through his hair. “He’s just suffocating me.”

  It seems a strange thing to say. “Why?”

  Lennon looks down at the M&Ms. “I’m sorry, Haylee, that question wasn’t in the correct Never Have I Ever form.”

  Okay, so he clearly doesn’t want to talk about it. That’s fine. I’m good at distraction. I pick up the bag of candy, narrowing my eyes. And for the next ten minutes I toss out the most outrageous behaviors I can think of, drawing from my own history of shenanigans, as Lennon called them. By the time the flight attendant returns with our dinners, he’s laughing, the dark, angry look finally gone from his eyes.

  As we eat, he tells me about other trips to Europe, what they did in various cities, what he hopes to get a chance to see this time. I, in turn, regale him with tales of our last half-assed tour in the States, staying in shit motels and searching daily for different ways to torture Louis for putting us through it. I’m surprised when Lennon offers stories of his own about less glamorous tours. Apparently Ransom had performed in half the dives in the Midwest, traveling in a broken- down van for weeks at a time. It’s strange to think about them before they hit it big. It seems like they’ve been such a huge name for so long.

  Our dinner is cleared and the cabin lights dimmed. On the other side of the aisle, Layla watches a movie on the small touch-screen TV attached to her seat. She’s bundled up in a blanket, her seat lowered until it’s practically horizontal. One by one, the other passengers in our section recline their seats, some wearing sleeping masks, some watching TV.

  “You want to get some rest?” I ask Lennon, and he visibly blanches.

  “Uh, nah. I’m not that tired.” He gestures at the blankets behind the armrest, wrapped up in their protective plastic bags. “But you can feel free.”

  “I’m not really tired either.”

  It’s true, of course, if only half the story. But what’s the point of telling him the rest? Actually, I’m never all that tired. And when I am, I can’t sleep anyways. Unless I have a hell of a lot more liquor in me than a glass of red wine. That would make me sound real good.

  And why are you so concerned with sounding good to him? I ask myself.

  “We could watch a movie,” he says, gesturing at the TV in front of him. His eyes meet mine, dark and clear, and something in my chest lurches in response. He has beautiful eyes. “Or we could just talk.”

  “Sure,” I say, trying to keep my voice even. This is probably a bad idea. I should shove some headphones over my ears, focus on a movie. Anything but sit here in the dark, talking to Lennon Ransome. He’s a nice guy—that’s obvious. But nice guys are too easy to hurt. And I really don’t want to hurt Lennon. When I look in his eyes—it’s obvious it wouldn’t be the first time. Something else has hurt this guy, something else has broken him down. If there’s one thing I can recognize, it’s someone who’s seen the same kind of darkness that I have.

  He obviously doesn’t need more darkness in his life. And that’s exactly what I would be.

  But I don’t turn away, despite the warnings in my head. I don’t turn on a movie. I don’t find some other way of distracting myself. When Lennon reclines his seat a little, I do too. And when he hands me my blanket—a surprisingly comfortable feather duvet—I wrap up in it, mirroring his posture when he lies on his side so that we’re facing each other.

  And then we talk. We talk about our bands and our families. I find myself telling him about my mom, about the old days back in Detroit when she would drag me from dive to dive or set me up busking on a street corner. I tell him about meeting James in that coffeehouse all those years ago, about how forming a band with him had been like finding freedom from my mom’s constant, suffocating stage mothering.

  In turn, he tells me about his brothers, how they’d been playing since they were kids, how they were raised by their dad—who sounds like he could actually give Jess a run for her money as a stage parent. He tells me about Daisy, Daltrey’s girlfriend and one of Lennon’s best friends. About Levi, a friend so close he sounds more like a brother, their former head roadie and current tour manager.

  We don’t talk about the dark stuff. We don’t talk about why neither of us desires sleep as it grows later and later. We don’t talk about the look on Reed’s face earlier or about the reason Lennon looked so tired when we ordered our dinner drinks. We don’t talk about the stalking bombshell I dropped on him at the party. We don’t talk about his breathing technique or my purse full of Xanax.

  And somehow, as our plane continues east over the Atlantic, as the sun begins to rise in front of us, I realize that Lennon Ransome has kept the darkness at bay. At least for a little while.

  Chapter Six

  Lennon

  “So. This is Newcastle, huh?” Daisy asks, staring out the window at the steady drizzle of rain and fog.

  “Isn’t it charming?” Levi asks, his voice flat as he reaches for his coffee cup.

  “It actually has its high points,” I say. Before I can expound on what those points might be, my attention is distracted by the sight of Haylee crossing the hotel lobby into the small restaurant where we now sit. Her bassist, James, is with her, talking rapidly, gesturing with both hands. Haylee is wearing sunglasses despite the rain—and the fact that she’s inside. As James’s voice rises, she visibly winces. I grin to myself, knowing the signs of a monster hangover when I see one.

  “Wow,” Levi says, and I tear my attention away from Haylee to look at him. His eyebrows are raised, a knowing look on his face. “The singer, huh?” he asks, his smirk widening. “Not a bad choice.”

  “Shut up, Levi,” I mutter, reaching for my own coffee cup and trying to ignore the look my two oldest friends share across the table.

  “I think she’s nice,” Daisy says, her eyes on the pair as they find a seat. She focuses on my face. “You guys have been spending a bit of time together.”

  “Not really,” I say quickly. After that flight—God, that amazing flight—I had hoped we could explore our connection, spend some time together. But in the week and a half we’ve been on the road, Haylee has been distant. Friendly. Social with the band and the crew. But that fleeting connection we found—or, at least, I thought we found—flying across the ocean seemed to have been silenced. I don’t like how much that bothers me.

  “You’ve been hanging out after every show,” Levi points out.

  “Yeah, with the rest of the band and half the crew.”

  “You had breakfast together in Manchester.”

  I glare at him. “Are you keeping tabs on me, Levi?”

  He rolls his eyes. “Yes, Len. I have absolutely nothing else to do besides babysit your lame ass.” He gestures at the thick folder in front of him, filled, I know, with details about our itinerary. Levi’s recent promotion from head roadie to tour manager has added to his workload considerably. The fact that he’s separated from Karen for the first time in weeks doesn’t seem to be helping his mood.

  “Why don’t you talk to her?” Daisy asks, ignoring our sniping. “You guys seemed to hit it off so well on the plane.�
�� She smiles. “I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and you were still up talking.”

  If I close my eyes, I can see her face, the way it looked that night in the darkened cabin. We reclined our seats and turned our heads to face each other—and sat like that all night, talking about pretty much everything.

  Well, not everything. I didn’t tell her about the accident. Or any of the other bullshit that currently has my brothers and Levi so worked up. And that was the problem, really. I sigh, running my hands through my hair. What in the hell do I have to offer a girl like Haylee?

  Daisy frowns, as if she’s reading my thoughts. “You should talk to her. You’re a catch, Len.”

  “You really think I’m in the best shape to be… I don’t know. Wooing someone?”

  Levi snorts but covers his mouth when I glare at him. Unfortunately, he’s not the only one who heard me.

  “Who are you wooing?” Paige squeals.

  “Oh, dear God,” I mutter, closing my eyes. This was just what I needed.

  “Shh,” Daisy tells her, shooting a glance over at Haylee’s table. Which is just fantastic, because Paige’s head turns to follow Daisy’s glance. “Oh my God,” she whispers, as excited as I’ve ever heard her. “You like Haylee!”

  “Shut up, Paige,” I say as Daisy reaches over and grabs her friend’s arm, pulling her into a chair.

  “She didn’t hear me,” Paige says easily. She can see Haylee’s table from her vantage point. “She’s just talking to James. I think she has a hangover.” She turns back to me, eyes flashing. I’m in so much trouble. “When did this happen?”

  “Nothing happened, Paige. Daisy and Levi are just giving me a hard time.”

  Paige is stroking her cheek, a thoughtful expression on her face. “You do stare at her a lot.”

  “I do not!”

  “And you guys talked, like, that entire flight.”

  “I hate my life.” I reach for my mug. Of course, it’s empty. Perfect. A conversation with Paige about my love life and there isn’t even any coffee.

  “I think it’s great,” she’s saying. “She seems really nice, and you deserve someone nice, Len.”

  “Paige, please don’t make a big deal of this,” I say. “There is nothing going on, okay?”

  “But if you like her—”

  “I didn’t say that I liked her.”

  She waves away my words. “Please. I totally have an eye for this. I can tell.”

  Levi tries to cover a laugh, and I turn to him, glaring. “This is your fault, ass.”

  “Oh, come on, Len.” He pushes my shoulder lightly. “It’s not a big deal. So you like a girl. We’re not in kindergarten anymore.”

  “No, we’re not,” I say, voice strained. “We’re at work.”

  “Oh, don’t be so uptight,” Paige says. “I hooked up with Reed on tour, and look at how well that’s turned out!”

  “I’m not feeling like it turned out so well for me at this particular moment, Paige.”

  “What we need,” she says, reaching for Levi’s notebook, “is a plan.”

  “No,” I say firmly. “Please. No plans.” I look to Daisy for help, but she’s clearly trying not to laugh.

  “I’m sorry,” she says, straightening. “Paige, I don’t think Len is really ready—”

  “You know what I think?” Paige interrupts, crossing her arms and looking at me. “I think you’ve spent enough time feeling bad about things. You deserve to have a little fun, Lennon.”

  I sigh, wondering how it’s possible both to want to strangle her and to feel touched at the same time. That was Paige for you.

  “If something was going to happen, Paige—” I hold up my hand at the look of joy on her face—“and I’m not saying that it will,” I add quickly. “But if it was, I would want it to happen naturally, okay? No plans.”

  She pouts. “But plans are so fun.”

  “Oh, God,” Reed says, appearing at the side of our table. “What’s she trying to drag us all into now?” But he’s smiling at her as he takes the empty seat next to his girlfriend.

  I, on the other hand, couldn’t feel less like smiling. It was bad enough that Paige overheard us talking about Haylee. I have no desire for my brothers to get in on the topic. I try to get her attention, scowling, but she ignores me.

  “I’m trying to convince your brother that he should make a move on Haylee.”

  Great. Just great.

  Reed’s gaze flickers across the room to Haylee, his eyes narrowing before he turns back to me. “Haylee?”

  “It’s nothing,” I say. But even as I hope he’ll drop it, some emotion in my chest is pricked by the look on his face. The narrowed eyes, the worry lines in his forehead. It couldn’t be clearer that Reed, at least, thinks Haylee and I would be a very bad idea.

  “I don’t think it’s nothing,” Paige says primly.

  “I think you should butt out,” I snap, my voice much harsher than I intend. Her eyes widen a little bit, and I immediately feel bad. “I’m sorry.” I sigh. “Just drop it, okay?”

  “Okay,” she says, her voice small. “I just wanted… you know I just want you to be happy, right?”

  “I’m fine, Paige.”

  “Sweetie,” Reed says, his voice tight. “Why don’t you take Daisy and Levi upstairs so Lennon and I can talk.”

  Paige’s eyes flash between me and her boyfriend, and I’m not sure which one of us has hurt her feelings more. “Okay,” she says again, standing. “I’ll… see you later then.”

  Levi stands to follow her, but Daisy remains in her seat, arms crossed. “Daisy,” Reed says, a little louder. A little sharper. “I need to talk to Lennon.”

  “It’s fine,” I say, feeling exhausted before the lecture even starts. I nod at her, and she sighs a little, standing.

  “You be nice,” she mutters to Reed as she passes, hand on her belly. Pregnancy seems to be making Daisy a bit more defensive than normal. Or maybe she’s just more worried about me than she lets on.

  “I’m sorry I snapped at Paige,” I say the moment they’ve gone, hoping to head off the reaming that I’m sure is coming my way. But Reed waves my apology away.

  “I’m not worried about that right now.”

  That would be a first. My brother is usually fiercely protective of Paige. But his eyes remain narrowed as he searches my face. “I want to talk to you about Haylee.”

  “Jesus.” I rub my hands roughly across my face. “Not you too.”

  But from the look on his face I’m fairly certain that Reed’s intention is not to help me get the girl. He clears his throat. “Do you really think you’re ready for something like that?”

  “Something like what?” I don’t bother to keep the edge out of my voice.

  His gaze is steady, and I’m suddenly struck by how much he looks like Dad. “A relationship, Lennon.”

  “There’s no relationship, Reed,” I snap back. “That was just Levi giving me a hard time and Paige getting carried away.”

  He doesn’t say anything for a moment, just watches my face. “I saw you with her on the plane.”

  “We sat together.” My temper is rising. “We talked.”

  “Lennon—”

  “And it’s none of your goddamn business, Reed.” I’ve had enough of the condescension in his voice, enough of the judgment. He really does think I’m some stupid kid who needs looking after.

  “It is my business. I’m worried—”

  I stand up so fast I knock my chair over. “Do you have any idea how fucking tired I am of hearing you say that?”

  He stands too, eyes blazing. “We all agreed that if we came on this tour we were going to be open with each other.”

  “I didn’t agree to you babysitting me for six weeks, Reed. You have no right to tell me what to do.” Heads are swiveling in our direction at our raised voices, but I couldn’t care less.

  “Lennon, I’m just trying to help you—”

  “If I need your help, I’l
l ask for it,” I say, pushing past him. I need to get away from my oldest brother, and fast. It’s been a long time since any of us got into a punching match, and I doubt the hotel restaurant is a good place to renew the pastime.

  He grabs my arm as I pass. “Please just talk to me.” Something in his voice has me staring up into his eyes. He looks the same way he’s looked for a while now. Scared. The familiar mix of guilt and annoyance bubbles in my chest.

  “You know what, sometimes I wish I could,” I say. “But I find it difficult to talk to someone who so clearly has lost all respect for me.”

  “Lennon!”

  I ignore his cry, pulling my arm away and striding from the table, willing him not to follow. I really will punch him, I think, ignoring the stares of the other diners as I go. I push through the glass front doors out into the misty afternoon, taking deep breaths of the cool air. And walk straight into Haylee and James, who appear to be sharing a cigarette under the overhang.

  “Shit,” I mutter, reaching out to grasp James’s shoulders after nearly knocking him over. “Sorry, man. Wasn’t watching where I was going.”

  “It’s okay.” He shoots a glance at Haylee, tossing his cigarette to the ground and stepping on it. “Ready to head up?”

  But she’s watching my face, her eyes concerned. “You go on,” she says, her eyes never leaving mine. “I’ll be up in a minute.”

  James doesn’t move. “You sure?” he finally asks, his voice heavy. It occurs to me that my older brother might not be the only person who doesn’t want me hanging out with Haylee. The thought has my heart pounding in anger all over again.

  “I’m fine, James,” she says, her voice sharp. “I’ll see you in a little while.”

  He stands next to her for a minute, and I try to ignore the way he’s looking from her to me. Finally he sighs. “I’ll be in my room.”

  He goes, and I slump against the brick wall of the hotel. Haylee mimics my pose. “You doing okay?”

  “My brother,” I say, by way of explanation. She peers at my face for a minute as if she can sense there’s more to the story. For a second, I’m tempted to tell her everything. The accident, the horrible scene in the hospital when my brothers found out about all of my secrets. The weeks I spent at Horizons, trying to get my shit together. But then I think of the way Reed just looked at me, worried, scared, certain of my inability to take care of myself. I think of Haylee looking at me that way and suppress a shudder.